Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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