just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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