Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
