Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
