I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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