we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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