Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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