Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
