I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
