Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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