WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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