Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
