i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
