Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
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