I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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