Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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