In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Enjoy the penises
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
