A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
