No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Randomize
