okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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