we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
