i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
