He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
