your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
