Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Sober January is a disaster.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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