The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
