every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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