i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
