make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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