ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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