i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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