He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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