omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
