suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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