Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
