He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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