I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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