You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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