i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
you made out with another girl for some wings
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
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