I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
