she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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