Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
The best revenge is premature balding
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
