obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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