talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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