theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The beer is more important than you right now.
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Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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