The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
