9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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