i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
home. puking in laundry basket.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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