so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
