i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
