dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
