last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
