can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
