May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
