so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
