the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
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