So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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