Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
