areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If I had your ass I would rule the world
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
