having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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