you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
