Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
