Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
