Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
